Why you don't want a dog...until you do

I have been a serious dog lover for as long as I can remember. I loved horses, too, at some point in my life (I distinctly remember watching a VHS on repeat called "Horses A-Z" and arguing with my mom about why we couldn't just keep a horse in our fenced in back yard). Once I realized, though, that owning a horse was essentially out of the question, I decided owning a dog was pretty much the next best thing.

This may have even been the first time we ever got a picture where we could see his face at all.

My parents weren't exactly animal people. We'd had a menagerie of small animals (fish, a bird, a cat) in an attempt to satisfy my dog craving, none of which really filled that hole in my heart. Finally when I was 8 years old, my parents gave in to this teensy black toy poodle. His name was Oreo (why I named a dog Oreo when he was all black is beyond me), and he is basically a tiny version of Padfoot. We had Oreo in our family for several years and ultimately gave him up to an elderly couple with a large property. My parents' idea of owning a dog was far from my dream of an inside animal to cuddle with and follow me around everywhere. It's pretty hard to feel like you own a dog when your interaction is mostly outside or in the garage, in my opinion.

Oreo is the pup in the top half of this picture. I couldn't resist a side-by-side comparison with baby Padfoot.

Fast forward to junior year of college: I finally reignite my obsession with pups and get one of my own. I was determined to own my inside dog (and finally get a big dog at that), and thus we got Padfoot on Easter weekend of 2012. He was a classified ads find bred by what we often describe to people as "a toothless man in Louisville who was on disability and decided he loved puppies so much he would stay home to breed them". Padfoot, despite his black color, is an F1b goldendoodle (mom is a goldendoodle and dad is a poodle, who was also black).

We've had Padfoot for over 5 years now, and things have really been great. We've had ups and downs. Anyone who knows Padfoot knows he's a ball of energy that's honestly a handful. I'm not sure if it's that I got a dog so early in life (I think only one of my college friends had made the leap before me), but lots of people have consulted me in some number of words in regards to whether or not they should also get a dog. I love talking about this topic, and the number one thing I tell people when they say to me "oh my gosh, I really want to get a dog" is don't do it.

Sorry, everyone. Padfoot has been and always will be for the Cats. We had grand plans to shave a mohawk in him with this jersey to channel Marcus Lee before he transferred.

Why you don't want a dog:

What? How could I possibly tell you that you don't want a dog?! Well here are a few things that I think are worth noting as drawbacks to owning a dog: 

• Say goodbye to quick weekend trips. I acknowledge that most people's dogs are much easier to handle than Padfoot (thanks, everyone for being nice about it though and pretending he's a good dog). However, baseline, it is at least somewhat of an extra step to think about compared to dropping everything and being down to clown for a quick weekend trip last minute. I distinctly recall feelings of frustration the minute anyone would come up with spontaneous plans to go to Cincinnati or Lex/Lou, and I'm sitting here thinking "ugh give me a second I have to get child(pup)care"
  
• You thought your food was expensive. Again, Padfoot has an absurd chicken allergy, and chicken-free food isn't exactly cheap. Still, when you add in the cost of all the other dog supplies, you better hope you are good at budgeting. You don't want to be skirting around whether or not to go to the vet when your dog is sick just because you ran out of money. If you can't afford the vet, you can't afford the dog. (for reference - after tracking his expenses for three years we spend between $1500-2000 a year on Padfoot. Not to mention a novelty upcoming vet bill for a dental clean and mass removal at a casual $800)
• How do you feel about bodily fluids? I don't care what dog you have, you will be picking up a lot of poop. If that's too gross for you - I hope you live on several acres of land. In the dog community it's extremely rude not to pick up after your dog. On top of the poop, every dog barfs at some point. They apparently have a more sensitive zone in their brains than humans that initiates that nauseous feeling. (Ours also thinks he is a cat and throws up 1-2 hairballs a month...)
• "Oh we don't allow dogs here." Finding an apartment that allows dogs can be extremely challenging depending on your city. Louisville, though it boasted many dog-friendly venues, had some serious hurdles when it came to owning a dog bigger than 35 pounds. And as Ron Swanson says, "Anything less than 35 lb. is a cat. And cats are useless."

So why did you even get a dog, Annie?

While, like all dog owners, we've had moments of regret at getting a dog - I was never not going to get a dog. I thought about all of those things above, and the struggle will always be worthwhile to me. Also, you'd be surprised how quickly you don't think twice about touching poop with only a thin lining of plastic between you and the poop (and don't get me started on things Padfoot has ever barfed up). After I tell people not to get a dog, I ultimately stress that they consider these things before jumping the gun. It's a huge commitment, and there's not really a better way to emphasize that. 

Why would anyone ever want a dog? Well:

• Who needs friends?! Ok, everyone needs friends. But seriously, for whatever reason your dog will always be wired to love you unconditionally. Like, actually unconditionally. Padfoot thinks it's the greatest day every when I give him a bowl of fresh water. Who can really argue with that kind of gratitude?! 
• Seriously, you'll have lots of real friends, too. Dog people, like dogs, are super social people. We have met so many people at the dog park, walking Padfoot, at dog events, etc. I have found that nearly anyone with a dog is far more likely to be very friendly and polite when you have a dog, too. 
• Dogs can't laugh - so they can't laugh at you when you ugly cry. I've been sad before sitting on the floor crying and nothing was more comforting that a lick to the face. Nothing. 
• Don't like cleaning floors? A dog is for you! This is more of a slight joke, but in all seriousness, it's kind of nice to never worry when you drop food on the ground. 

What I'm getting at here is that though there's so many drawbacks to owning a dog - training, feeding, picking up the poop, paying for the vet, the groomer, paying for literally everything else. I for one think dogs are far more than worth it. My sister recently had to put down her 14 year old toy poodle. We'd been sort of waiting for this to happen as Lucy had gotten quite old, incontinent, and with several other health issues. Even my sister, who is far less of a dog person than me, can attest to how difficult this was. They are part of the family - yes, I consider myself successfully somewhat of a "mom" (no I don't think it's exactly the same as raising a child, but a lot can be said about keeping a 60 pound predator by nature alive and not trying to kill you in your own home). 

I mean, this face, though.

So, yes. If at the end of the day you still want that dog - get it. You (probably) won't regret it. And if you're more of a cat person...yeah I can't help you here.