There is a lot of
value in tradition. This is doubly true when you find yourself in a new
surroundings. Annie has been working a lot lately with very few days off
(except the 3 days we spent hospital/couch bound thanks to her appendix) and
honestly it's been really hard on both of us emotionally. It's so much harder
than expected being in a spot with no long-term friends, while social media
allows us to watch all of our friends from past lives go on without us there.
Everyone is new, and though we've surrounded ourselves with some great people
since moving here, it just hasn't been easy
yet, if that makes sense.
In short, we've both
been feeling a bit homesick of late, so
having traditions in our relationship that transcend geography has been
critical. Traditions anchor us to what really matters. To each other. We have
several of these throughout the year, but none has been as consistent as our
Valentine's day tradition.
While parts of it
have changed over the years - letters, records, apartment, etc., what has not
changed is the meal. This year marks our 10th (yikes) Valentine's day together,
6 of which have involved good music, good wine, and a recipe we have dubbed THE steak. I'd like to share the story of that
first experience, as well as a modified recipe for those of you who are
interested in giving it a try.
It all started our
senior year of college, we had been dating for 4 years, we were comfortable in
our relationship, and didn't feel like we had to do any grand gestures or gifts
as we had in past days. We'd made no plans until around 5pm and realized we wouldn't
be able to get into a restaurant, so we'd have to opt for a plan B. I did some
quick googling and stumbled on the recipe that we've based our last 6 V-day
celebrations on - THE steak.
That first year was
experimental - we had cooked, but were FAR from experienced. It may have been
my first homemade sauce I ever made, it was the first time I'd ever oven baked
a steak, and even Annie making mashed potatoes from scratch seemed daunting (we
laugh every year now at how simple most of the recipe actually is…).
We picked up our
supplies (what's thyme?, where do you buy port?, you mean the garlic isn't
powder?) and got to work, with Pandora radio (is that still a thing?) playing
in the background. After a good deal of fumbling, slicing, and prepping, it was
all coming together.
The steak was in the
oven, the sauce was beginning to meld, and I recall a very specific moment then
that hit me pretty hard. I believe John Green would refer to it as feeling
'infinite', Maslow may have referred to it as a peak experience of self-actualization,
Thomas Moore may've thought of it as a second revelation. Norah Jones' come away with me was playing, the smell of
garlic-thyme port wine sauce wafted into my nostrils, and Annie leaned on the
counter next to me drinking a glass of wine with a look of absolute content on
her face. It was an almost out of body experience. I found myself imagining our
future together, realizing that this could be the rest of my life if I chose
it.
I saw years down the
road standing in a nicer apartment than where we stood, or our own home,
cooking a similar meal, with the same smells, and the same girl by my side. I
came to teary eyed and couldn't help but smile like a little kid for the rest
of the night. I think part of my excitement ever year is the hope of
re-creating that feeling.
Last night we
completed our 6th attempt at THE steak.
Things have changed, but the core of the tradition remains the same: Norah
Jones plays, but now on vinyl. The steak is a nicer cut, typically bought from
a butcher or Whole Foods. The recipe has been modified, but the flavors are all
still there, now enhanced.
I think that last
night reminded us that it doesn't really matter where we live. It doesn't
matter who we're surrounded with. Those are all secondary pleasures to the core
of our life together. Because while the location, the friends, and our
schedules drastically change, our love remains the same. 10 years in, 6 rounds
of steak. Much like our love, it's gotten better every year. Here's to 50+ more
years of tradition.
Recipe - THE Steak
We base our recipe off of this post
Here's how I've come to tweak it.
- We use ribeye rather than filet. We've tried both, but preferred a high quality, well-marbled ribeye over filet. The fat and the blue cheese and the panko all work SO well together.
- We typically buy 1 large steak and split it rather than eating ourselves into a coma. Annie also always makes a dessert (dark chocolate mousse this year - yum)
- I like to reverse sear the steak rather than the sear/bake technique they use. Bake for 40 minutes or so at 275 (check steak with a meat thermometer - should be about 115 degrees for medium rare) then cast iron skillet sear it for 30 seconds on each side, then proceed to broiling blue cheese/panko on top
- you can cut the blue cheese/panko in half - it always makes too much
- find a good mashed potato recipe for the base - we like this one from Pioneer Woman, but it takes a bit of work and advance prep
Let us know if you try it out!